It's only fair that since I'm airing weird things my kids say, that I start a list of stuff I say or do that royally annoys my family --which is of course what makes it so fun in the first place, but don't tell them, they'd just get royally annoyed!
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☛ In a department store, as soon as your kid starts looking at a clothing item he likes, "No son, look over there. They have my favorite brand name, Clearance"
☛ How to get your wife to stop dragging you to Walmart: Stand in the middle of the deodorant isle and yell out to her, "Honey, I found the deodorant. What flavor do you want?"
☛ Take a book out of your high schooler's backpack and hide it in the car the night before. The next day, drop him off at school at the usual place, and take off as usual. BUT THEN, park really quickly, take the book and run after him very silently. Once he's right smack in the middle of as many schoolkids as possible, jump in front of him and give him the most massive hug and kiss, then loudly say, "Hey sweety-pie, I'm so glad I caught up with you, I love you so much. I found your book in the car and brought it for you." The look of sheer horror on his face will rock your world for at least a week.
☛ When your son's friends come over, say hello warmly and welcome them into your home. Then explain that just like all the males of the household, you expect them to pee sitting down as well.
☛ Come back again, the list constantly grows!
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